(New York City) – After another well-received press release hit the streets, Micah Laaker was presented with yet a fourteenth "cease-and-desist" legal notice on Tuesday, August 1. Mr. Laaker, having successfully called out Alex Meyer in a previous release, received a notice from the said Mr. Meyer. Soaked in tearstains, the note was conspicuous for […]

(New York City) – Noted for his modesty in promoting Laaker.com, Micah Laaker was recently disgusted by office compatriate Alex Meyer’s flagrant self promotion of his personal site. As several employees were working late, dinnertime found them gathered around a communal office table imbibing in food and drink. As dinner waned, conversation turned towards work-related […]

(New York City) – Micah Laaker’s dislike of bananas became the subject of the conversation several times during a recent trip to Brooklyn. During a visit to New York’s Coney Island for the infamous Mermaid Parade, Mr. Laaker’s cohorts seemed to find any available avenue to reintroduce the banana-hating remark. Early in the journey to […]

(New York City) – Afraid of being labeled a hypocrite, Micah Laaker today updated his enemies list to include trees. Long noted for his involvement in the founding of the Anti-Arboreal Association, Mr. Laaker took flack at a recent AAA meeting for his neglect in posting trees to his recent enemies list. Oscar Rumseys, AAA […]

(New York City) – Known for his impressive ability to hold longstanding and often unwarranted grudges, Micah Laaker today announced his public release of his Enemies List on the eve of the summer solstice. “People need to know where they stand with me,” said Mr. Laaker. “Too many people feel comfortable saying, ‘Oh, that craaaaaaaazy […]

(New York City) – New York City sewer lines decided not to "take any more crap" on Monday, May 15, and proceeded instead to siphon all "excess" into Micah Laaker’s studio/kitchen. Mr. Laaker learned of this decision come dinnertime upon entering his apartment that cool spring evening. Apparently old and weathered, sewage pipes above Mr. […]

(New York City) – Continuing his tour of the eastern states, Micah Laaker returned from his trip to Atlanta yesterday. Having had a simple itinary of “livin’ large” through a series of incredibly fattening meals, Mr. Laaker proudly announced that he had reclaimed his former weight status. (Ed. – Readers may remember Mr. Laaker’s recent […]

(New York City) – Once again lambasting a major corporation over mere personal problems, Micah Laaker today announced KFC (the food artist formerly known as Kentucky Fried Chicken) and Colonel Sanders were personally responsible for his recent illnesses. "Today marks a sad turning point in my relationship with the Colonel and his merry band of […]

(Los Angeles) – Arriving fashionably late, Micah Laaker celebrated the launch of StanLee.net at the Stan Lee Media Hollywood Convergence Gala last night. After approximately two months of long hours and many evenings of fried chicken dinners preventing the regular updates to his PR site, Mr. Laaker and the hardworking Iguana Studios team were ready […]

(New York) – In what he termed a “gift to humanity” and others referred to as a “musical monstrosity,” Micah Laaker released “his” Christmas album, entitled “A Hot Boys Christmas.” Siding with the old adage, “If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em,” Mr. Laaker decided to link up with current rap superstars The Hot Boys […]

(New York) – Adding kindling to the fire of those who would call him an "instigator" (or "hater," in some circles), Micah Laaker yesterday openly critiqued the latest album released by hip-hop icon Dr. Dre. Having stood through a lackluster performance by the nevertheless incredibly talented musical duo known as the Handsome Boy Modeling School […]

(New York) – In what proved to be yet another amusing detail of Micah Laaker’s life experience, a very large woman approached Mr. Laaker and his "chaps" at the local Black Star lounge, only to bellow that "everything’s all topsy-turvy here!" Noting that a gentleman had beat her to the ladies’ room, and another lady […]

(New York) – Micah Laaker spent much of yesterday in the company of actor Gary Coleman, helping fellow Anti-Arboreal Association member Paul Chan conduct an interview for ‘Good Lookin’ magazine. On a nationwide tour to promote his current Web endeavour, The Gary Coleman Webathon, Mr. Coleman talked extensively, and excitedly, about UGO’s (his sponsor) quick […]

(New York) – Micah Laaker is mad. "Mad ill," that is. Having fallen victim to a second round of asthma- and allergy-induced illnesses, Mr. Laaker conceded that he was no match for these vicious attacks. "My immune system is obviously sub-standard, leaving me susceptible to an ever-increasing barrage of cruel and systematic attacks at the […]

(New York) – Crossing all lines of common courtesy and decency, Micah Laaker spent his Halloween evening in the garb of a small boy’s Jar-Jar Binks costume. Having spent a cool $19.99 on a cheap plastic K-mart -branded representation of the "stupidest thing ever made," Mr. Laaker proceded to slit the back of the suit […]