(New York City) – Sunday evening found Micah Laaker is a state of consternation, as he perused the falsehoods proposed in the online writings of longtime friend Aaron Steckelberg. Mr. Steckelberg published blatantly perfidious statements outright denying his childhood ownership of Gobots Rock Lord “Nuggit.” †

The public statement, posted on Steckelberg.com and reprinted below, contains several falsifications and misrepresentations:

I would like to be the first to deny any false allegation that may soon be published on the "laaker.com" or "micahlaaker.com" websites about my ownership now, or ever of soon to be said alleged Gobots TM. Rocklord TM. toy. The fictitious rumor is sure to quote one Micah Laaker and or Carlos Hunter as to my having had and played with the pathetic Transformer TM. knock off.
Any such statements are totally and positively untrue and without any source of proof. This is simply a matter of their word against mine, nothing more.

Having spent the weekend with Mr. Steckelberg in the not-so-clean burg of Philadelphia, Mr. Laaker had briefly waxed nostalgic with one of his friend’s chums. The Rock Lord issue, a recent favorite of his and longtime mutual friend Carlos Hunter, was relayed to Mr. Steckelberg’s friend at an opportune point in the evening, at which stage Mr. Steckelberg vehemently denied his possession of the toy.

“Dude, you owned a Rock Lord,” Mr. Laaker said.

“I never owned a Rock Lord,” Mr. Steckelberg replied.

“Dude, don’t lie; you owned a Rock Lord, and you know you did!” Mr. Laaker retorted.

“I’m telling you, I never owned a Rock Lord. You and Carlos are making this up,” lied Mr. Steckelberg.

“That dude owned a Rock Lord, simple and plain. Not only did he own the Rock Lord, he proudly owned that Rock Lord,” said Micah Laaker that evening. “I’ll never forget the look on that little guy’s face when he showed me his new Rock Lord when we were kids. I’d always thought Gobots were weak, and a Gobot of a robot that transformed into a rock was no exception.”

(Mr. Laaker reiterated that seemingly intelligent, self-respecting children were supposed to believe that the “metal” robot could somehow transform into a rock.)

Confirming Mr. Steckelberg’s prediction, Carlos Hunter, in an email correspondence with Mr. Laaker, stated, “I can guarantee that the Rock Lord that Aaron had was Nuggit. Sure it is the oddest of the bunch, but I distinctly remember its gold color. I also remember that it was the stubby one and the only round one. The rest were boxy and angular… Aaron ” Nuggit ” Steckelberg used to play with that pathetic golden beast.”

Mr. Laaker (armed with the one weapon Mr. Steckelberg discarded long ago in regard to this debate—the truth) stands by his and Mr. Hunter’s conviction that Mr. Steckelberg did “indeed, at one point in time, own a stupid Rock Lord.”

† Gobots were one of the weakest “transforming” toys of the 1980s. To recapture sales from the much better Transformers toy line, Tonka released a series of Gobots entitled “Rock Lords” (a group of robots that transformed into rocks). American children’s dislike for the already pitiable brand hit a feverish pitch upon this release, and Gobots soon faded from even truck stop toy racks.