(New York City) – In a sad and somewhat unfortunate turn of events, Micah Laaker lost a large chunk of money and his Apple PowerBook G3/333 laptop last Wednesday.

Having placed his laptop for sale in LootUSA, a low-class classified ad joint, Mr. Laaker received a call from a Mr. James Ryan, employee of the supposed Harlem-based LiveWire Telecom firm. After a series of phone messages, Mr. Laaker and Mr. Ryan agreed to transfer $2100.00 in the form of a bank-certified cashiers check for the PowerBook. As Mr. Ryan was on his “honeymoon,” he had a co-worker handle the exchange at Mr. Laaker’s office. The event went off without a hitch as Mr. Ryan’s large associate handed over the check and purchase order and waddled off to the next victim.

One week later, Mr. Laaker received a phone call from Craig Duncan, Security First Network Bank’s fraud manager, informing him the check was bogus. Apparently, New York National Bank never issued the check in question, and thus neither bank was responsible for paying Mr. Laaker the long lost money. Immediately whipping into a Matlock-like information-finding frenzy, Mr. Laaker began compiling documentation for the New York Police Department, Allstate and this press release.

There has yet to be any resolve in this matter.

To answer the most common questions, Mr. Laaker has provided a brief list of frequently asked questions concerning this mishap:

Q: Did you bother to look at the check to see if it was fake?
A: Yes. There were the listed watermarks on the check. The bank was fooled initially, as well.

Q: Have you called Mr. Ryan to see if this was all a big misunderstanding?
A: Quite surprisingly, Mr. Ryan’s phone number and his company’s phone number are mysteriously not working! His company name and address are inaccessible via 411’s massively informative directory.

Q: Are you mad?
A: A bit. I’d really like to meet Mr. Ryan face-to-face. Face-to-face in the state penitentiary, that is, where he’d be serving time for the good old felony known as grand larceny.

Q: What’s your take on this supposedly secure Security First Network Bank?
A: I love ’em! 6% interest on your checking account with no minimum balance and free online banking and bill pay! Check their site for more information. Tell them Micah sent you!

Q: Did you check to see if LootUSA would compensate you for this mishap?
A: Yes. The answer to their compensating me is an obvious ‘no.’

Q: Will you ever place an ad in the classifieds again?
A: Sadly, I rarely seem to learn from mistakes (Ed. – See KFC incident.). The reality is that I will most likely place another ad, but I will certainly spend more efforts eBay’ing items now.

Q: Does eBay guarantee payment to sellers if buyers flake?
A: Yes! By having every buyer register with a credit card, eBay accepts fault if a buyer defaults. (Ed. – Please see eBay’s policy.)

Q: Do you feel like a chump?
A: Definitely. I feel as if someone took a big piece of my very being (in the form of $2100 cash).