(New York City) – Affirming what has been popular snide commenting for the past several months, Micah Laaker today announced that he was "well aware of how seldom (his) public relations postings were updated." Reaching the press from his home office, Mr. Laaker was quoted as saying, "I’ve got a lot of love for my readers. Out of this deep love comes a responsibility; a responsibility to keep these very readers up-to-date with my daily transpirings. It is this same responsibility, then, that also makes me fess up to my slacking in regards to this responsibility."

Recent jabs at Mr. Laaker included, "You never told me you got a new job. You could have posted THAT to your press releases page!," "What?! You were sick for five weeks?! Why didn’t you write a press release about that?," and "Your press releases suck. How come you haven’t written anymore recently?"

To help pacify these nay-sayers and doubting Thomases, Mr. Laaker announced a new, extremely lengthy press release would be disseminated tomorrow. (Ed. – Please read 09/24/99 in it’s entirety.)

Mr. Laaker, as usual, was unreachable for clarification as to whether this would be his standard diatribe against others or if this release would include interesting information.