(New York) – In a second wave of anger and vengeance, Micah Laaker again called out several corporations which had caused undue duress and hassle to him and others (Ed. – Please see 06/16/99 for the first wave.). These corporations would be AT&T, K-Mart, Globix, Bell Atlantic, RCN, and MCI.

In the first of his attacks, Mr. Laaker singled out AT&T as a "pack of chumps." "First off, when I get a $120 phone bill, when normally I get a $40 phone bill, I know something ain’t quite right," he started. Little efforts in researching this debacle yielded a hazy story. According to Mr. Laaker, an early Saturday morning phone call (July 31, 8 a.m., to be approximately exact) from AT&T representatives painted a happy picture of newly welcomed customers frolicking in fields of long-distance freedom. The fields quickly turned to drought-ridden deserts of despair when he learned his service had been switched four days earlier than claimed, mostly due to a 70 minute phone call to his friend, a Ms. Katherine "Chatterbox" Wearne, now of Nagano, Japan (Ed. – Please see 12/14/98 for Mr. Laaker’s international connections.). Presuming, according to AT&T’s directive, he was still on his previous long distance carrier, bearing 19 cent-a-minute rates to the small technology-laced island of Japan, Mr. Laaker initiated the fateful "call of dooooooooooom" on Monday, August 2, 1999.

Nearly one month later, Mr. Laaker received a phone bill, showing a nearly $2 a minute rate for said call and "about killed somebody." (Ed. – Not himself.) Restoring his composure, Mr. Laaker called AT&T’s cleverly multiple-stepped customer service line. After 15 minutes of hopping through menu options and listening to messages insuring his not-being-disconnected, Mr. Laaker was able to speak with "Lisa." Upon hearing the situation, Lisa quickly reacted to the situation by offering him a much cheaper long distance rate for future calls. Thanking Lisa for her quick-thinking, Mr. Laaker reminded her of the much bigger issue at hand: the call already made on a service that was not supposed to active. Lisa again did a little troubleshooting and came up with the solution of a much cheaper long distance rate for future calls.

Mr. Laaker was then disconnected upon attempts to transfer to a manager.

Several weeks passed as Mr. Laaker moved up the chain of command in AT&T’s highly empowered customer service center. The last Mr. Laaker heard from AT&T, he was promised, absolutely, a call within 24 to 48 hours. This promise was made well over 720 hours ago. He has since been unable to reach any customer service "specialists."

In yet another fit of rage, Mr. Laaker called out K-Mart as "New York’s breeding bastion of ineptitude and simple-mindedness." Not wanting to go into details, claiming repeating several negative K-Mart incidents only got him "heated," Mr. Laaker denied several inquiries into the matter. He was noted to smile smugly when saying that he did "show some of them fools up!" This same smile quickly faded when asked to whether he got the last laugh. No further questions about K-Mart were answered at this point.

Globix was the last official target of Mr. Laaker’s wrath. Claiming that if he ever caught a "Mr. Wang" on the streets, he was going to constructively explain why the one day of the year Globix was unable to service his request (Labor Day) was also definitely not the same day to call him at 6:30 in the morning to get "up-to-speed" on the issue. Globix officials repeatedly denied any heavily accented man working on a national holiday at "those" hours, only to quickly distance themselves from Mr. Wang and his early-bird, holiday-disprespecting, three-days-too-late, must-want-to-die vigilante style upon reviewing the matter. Rumors circulated to the fact that Mr. Laaker was reported to have announced a "very real hope that these kids are penniless very soon." (Ed. – Mr. Laaker refused to deny these rumors.)

Lastly, in a display widely heralded as "kissing up" to others, Mr. Laaker also called out companies that had pained many of his friends and cohorts. This time, the list grew to include the likes of Bell Atlantic, MCI, RCN, and "that one stupid laundromat dude." Having not had the extreme unpleasantries bestowed upon himself, Mr. Laaker was unable to as vehemently denounce these corporations. He was, however, prepared to go "solidarity-style on those fools." These words are yet to be deciphered.