(New York) – Crossing all lines of common courtesy and decency, Micah Laaker spent his Halloween evening in the garb of a small boy’s Jar-Jar Binks costume. Having spent a cool $19.99 on a cheap plastic K-mart -branded representation of the "stupidest thing ever made," Mr. Laaker proceded to slit the back of the suit so as to create some semblance of comfort while contorting his 175-pound body into an outfit optimized for 65 pounds of naive, media-brainwashed kid. "Basically, I want to make everyone else so uncomfortable when they see this costume that they’ll never want to see anything even remotely related to Jar-Jar Binks," Mr. Laaker said.

"Dude, that’s just wrong," and "Have you no pride, man?!" were just two of many commendations showered upon Mr. Laaker for his brave and exciting foray into publicly disrespecting George Lucas’ recent filmatic failure. (Ed. – Please see 05/19/99 for Mr. Laaker’s initial dismay.) Passerbys marvelled at Mr. Laaker’s goofy galloping stride that mirrored Mr. Binks’ amusing meandering ways; while others openly encouraged the removal of said costume from their presence.

Fortunately for all, the incredibly tight costume caused excessive breathing problems for Mr. Laaker, and a much earlier outfit-removal process had to be initiated. Several tears and strains were incurred, and the costume was retired to the trash can "where it belongs," said Mr. Laaker.

He then said, "peace."